Dating doesnt work for a girl like me A.K.A The shortest date ever.

Note to self - If you are going to go on a date with someone who offers to take you to a Weatherspoons pub, one which you used to work in no less, it will probably end horribly.

18:00 - It's all going well and i feel fantastic. I met Ian randomly in a pub not far from me while on a casual night out with the girls.

I Put on some nice light make up, flat shoes - playing it safe, want to look like i can still walk after the first couple of rums - pretty dress, hop in a taxi and hop out again outside a beautiful classy brasserie where he is waiting, one of the finest in the city in fact.

"oh nice I've never been here before, I've heard its lovely, what a place for a first date" i exclaim.

After a moment of awkward silence Ian tells me that actually, he was planning to take me to the weatherspoons just around the corner, on the way there mumbling something about the credit crunch and an office workers salary.

I tell him not to worry. After all its not about the place you go to its about the person you are with.

18:15 we get there, order our drinks and make a few minutes of small talk before another awkward silence sets in. It's a fairly busy evening and the noise and crowds feel like they are closing in on us. Over walks Andy, a gent who i haven't seen in a good few years. Has the social skills of a nervous spotty virgin and if i remember rightly a tendency to stalk most women he meets. He makes a terrible attempt at flirting for about 10 minutes as Ian sits awkwardly staring into his drink.

18:25 -When i finally get him to sod off Ian is already taking a phone call. It sounds pretty serious and he starts wandering around nervously.

Something must be seriously wrong because when Andy finally ambles off, he starts moaning "oh god" and wiping his had over his face in despair, telling whoever it is on the other end of the phone that he will be there as soon as he can.

18:35 -Or he would have done if he had got through the sentence before his phone started ringing anyway. The table of 8 sat next to us watches on, by this point laughing hysterically at his foolishness. I decide that enough is enough and head to the bar to say hello and goodbye to my ex colleagues, leaving Ian to be further humiliated as he finishes his drink.

18:45 - Needless to say i wasn't all that flattered although quite amused by the evening events. As i walk up the road towards the lovely brasserie for a large glass of comfort i hear the screeching of tyres and a horn sounding. There's Ian, standing in the middle of the road flailing his arms about and shouting apologies at a very angry driver.

What did i learn tonight? Never assume anything about the night ahead.