Previous dating disasters - Never, Ever date your driving instructor.

As soon as it started i stalled. Literally. It was my first driving lesson and I'm sure we can all safely say we have been there.

Its a shame though that i can't remember my driving instructors name considering from the moment we began talking we hit it off. He was 15 years my senior which didn't faze me at the time and our first date was probably one of the most romantic I've ever been on.

He let me drive but wouldn't tell me where we were going. Instead he directed me to a secret location. "You'll love it" he says. "Its the place i come to think, its like being in a different world when you are there". Although i didn't doubt we would have a lovely time together, i grew extremely sceptical the further into the deep dark woods we drove, chatting about what we did and didn't have in common and debating which brand of ice cream was the best - Hagen Daas or Ben & Jerry's?

After driving for about half an hour i was wondering if the cynical side of my mind was right. That i WAS going to end up in the boot of an abandoned car in the middle of god knows where. My over active imagination reeling together with my inpatients must have been noticeable because.. "Don't look so worried, we are nearly there. Its just round this corner".

I was expecting a clearing in the middle of the woods, maybe even more heathland in which we would take a walk in, and although not unromantic is pretty average from the way he was speaking. So image my surprise when the woodland parted to reveal a stunning shingle beach on the gorgeous Suffolk coastline. We spent the rest of the afternoon here, still chattering and eventually head for a drink in a nearby pub, completely lost in conversation.

The next day was spent with a second date planned that night and huge smile slapped on my face with my head in the clouds, dreaming of being once again swept off my feet to another unexpected and beautiful place later on in the evening.

So again it was a surprise when we ended up in a local pub, one which i didn't particularly like, surrounded by people i didn't particularly like while he played on the fruit machine. But I suppose you cant have all of the romance all of the time but even so bought another round and eventually feigned tiredness and left. I received an apology and we continued incur very large and ever growing phone bills.

After a couple of days of non stop sickeningly sweet texting cuter than This kitten video, we eventually meet up again and the romance continues. We watch a film, he buys me Hagen Daas (although i prefer Ben and Jerry's) and when i go home i realise i might just be ready to jump in head first.

And this is where it all goes wrong. After a couple of busy days of very little contact and quite alot of working our conversation picks up again... well on his part anyway.

Man - "Hey Ani, i just wanted to let you know how much i miss you and I've hated not hearing from you for a few days. I hope you are OK and make sure you text me back soon xxx"

Man - Hey hey, hope everything is alright, just checking you got my last text???? xxxx"

Voicemail - Hey its me again. Just wondering if everything is OK between us? at least give me a call and let me know if its not OK. Please? OK, I'll speak to you soon, bye.. bye".

Ani - Hey sorry i haven't got back to you I've been working all day. Nice to hear that you miss me :) how was your day? x

Man - "Thank god, i thought id freaked you out and you weren't talking to me, phew :) My day has been fine, not really done much except think of you xx Do you like poetry?"

I'm showering. 10 Min's later....

Man - "Hello?? you there?"

One missed call

Ani - "sorry i was in the shower. To be honest i don't really like poems, they just seem a bit odd to me :) I'm guessing you do though :P"

Man - "well i wrote one for you, do you want me to send it to you anyway?"

Missed call

Man - "Ah ill send it to you anyway. I wrote it about our night together the other night, i hope you like it [Insert terrible poem about me, single beaches, boats, asphalt, Here]

I text him back a couple of hours later, after multiple missed calls and text saying "HELLO??? DID YOU LIKE MY POEMXXXX" saying i thought he was a bit over keen and didn't really listen to me.

Man - "That's alright i wasn't too serious about it all considering we haven't been seeing each other more than a week".

Not sure what he considers to be not too serious but he has definitely put me off dating anyone more than 10 years older than myself.

And the ice cream debate? I ended up opting for Baskin Robbins in the end... much better ice cream all round.

Previous dating disasters - The Hockey player instalment 3

.... the abrupt end.

I put the end of our rocky relationship down to crossed wires on hindsight, but at the time i thought it was clear as day.

We met in the pub for our last time, after having not seen each other or spoken for the last 2 months. He had a new job and seemed to be doing well, i was considering moving away and as far as i was concerned whatever we had was over.

As we were chatting i mentioned that i had a date with someone, who was - god forbid - taking me to the cinema. I hate the cinema and am pretty aware its the most anti-social form of date anyone can go on, however agreed anyway.

Mike started getting pretty narky after the mention of this. The more our conversation progressed the more criticizing and snappy towards me he became. It got pretty heated and eventually he snapped, demanding to know why i wouldn't go to the cinema with him when he had asked me.

I snapped back.

"I DO have the cinema" i said, "but this is an opportunity i can't pass up. Firstly, an all expenses paid visit to the cinema and secondly, i really want to see this film. Who knows, i might even end up liking the guy."

"My brother was right about you. Girls like you are a complete head fuck."

And with that, he stood up, walked out of the pub and i never saw or heard from him again. He even took me off his Facebook, which as far as I'm aware in this day and age, is one giant middle finger.